"Hand-picked "

ISAIAH 49: 15-16 “Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name. “

As a baby, I was not baptized as a Roman Catholic. I wasn't aware of this not until I saw my own baptismal picture. I find it weird because the person officiating the sacrament was a “priestess” (a woman priest). I asked my mother and found out I was baptized into this group called “Moncadista” whose founder is whom they call Master Moncado. I never really knew what this religion/cult group was all about since I was never brought up practicing their religion. All I know is that it is my great grandmother, grandmother, and my mother’s religion. Before having encountered God in a personal way at Elim, I was a practicing Catholic (more like an “acting” run-on-the-mill Catholic). Interestingly enough, although I wasn’t baptized Catholic, my mother had her way of letting me enroll in a Catholic school since nursery until I was in High School. Since it was a school requirement to show the Catholic baptismal certificate upon enrollment, my mother was not able to reproduce it but said an alibi to the nuns that it was burned together with our house in Davao when it burned down. I know it wasn’t true because I have with me the baptismal certificate from the Moncado religion/cult (I don’t know really how to describe their group). In my school-age years, I know I was living a lie. I am not “Catholic” but appeared to be one to my nun advisers and my classmates. I learned Catholic doctrines, and even had my first communion (bypassing baptism), attend mass, go to confession, attend spiritual retreats, active with some youth ministry and do outreach like teaching Catechism to the Deaf. I am pretty much a “do-gooder” student, top-of-the class, a teacher’s pet, a student leader. I am very much close to the nuns but I didn’t have the courage to tell them that I am a fake “Catholic” because I was still unbaptized. I lived with it, not really doing anything about it nor found the urgency to correct it. That was my “skeleton in the closet” no one ever knew except, my mom, my dad, some close friends and the God of no-secrets-ever-hidden. I get guilty sometimes especially when I receive the sacrament of the Holy Communion. How I have bled the heart of Mama Mary!

It was when I joined Elim in September 2007, after a long-time invitation from an office mate that made me realize, what a big masquerade I am acting all my life. Not just in my ‘religion’ but in all areas of my life. There was no genuine mark in me. All was but a show. And I know my God was not amused. It was through the loving encouragement of my facilitator and support of my KG sisters that I had finally my baptism. The pre-Jordan seminar opened my eyes to the sanctifying graces that I have missed all my life and the serious consequences of neglecting it. After many years and months of delaying it, my Catholic baptism took place in June 29, 2008 at St. Therese Church in Lahug. My banner passage that urged me to really take this moment seriously was God’s message to me in Acts 22:16 “Now, why delay? Get up and have yourself baptized and your sins washed away, calling upon his name.” It was a liberating moment! A victorious one! I was claimed back into the fold of the Catholic Church. I was handpicked! Life continued after the baptism and I continued dwelling at Elim with so much gratitude and praise to the God- the giver of life. I had some other hang-ups in my old life that I have learned to let go and let God control over my life. I used to have a strained relationship with my mother due to differences in expectations. But now God has given me the grace to forgive my mother and for me to ask forgiveness as well. I have met people in the past who have hurt me and have misjudged me. Now, as I learn God’s abiding mercy and forgiveness, I have learned to let go of all those hurts and genuinely forgave those people. I know I have come to that point because a mere mention of their name, it does not affect me anymore. At a time when the wounds were still fresh, I keep on listening repeatedly to the teaching tapes of Elim, in particular that of sis Lory Lina entitled “It Hurts, Lord.” Human and weak as I am, it was not easy to forgive, more so to forget. The teachings of Bro.Willy Nakar and Bro.Bert Miranda every Elim TRN were like arrows thrusting my heart through and through and revealing to me the truths about real forgiveness, true happiness, and eternal bliss. This is still a long and narrow road towards holiness. But I am so blessed that God showed me the first step. Many miracles of His abiding presence and mighty hand doing His work in my everyday life had been very evident. God speaks to my heart in audible ways now more than ever, guiding me and showing me His wisdom, His faithfulness, His promises and most of all His love. To be handpicked from the old life of being a “Gentile”, now I am happily in the arms of my Father and imprinted in the palm of His hands….Natividad P. Natividad---a “legitimate” child of God!